I’m afraid, especially at night as my eyes begin to shut and I start to drift off into sleep. Afraid that my heart might burst. Afraid that my heart might stop. Afraid I might have either a heart attack or a stroke. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid that I might not be able to summon help. Afraid of being alone when something happens. Unless you’ve been through something like this you might not be able to understand it. What it gets down to is the fear of unknown.

I’ve suffered anxiety attacks. One night I became convinced that if I fell asleep I’d die. I had a tightness in the chest and my blood pressure was going up and down. My girlfriend called 911. They checked me out and I was taken to the hospital to be checked out. I spent the night there. Blood tests turned out okay.

A few hours later I saw my doctor again. I asked him point blank if I’m likely to die from my condition. He said that it was unlikely that I would. He decided to press the cardiologist to see me sooner rather than later, which gave me some relief for a short time.

However, I still have the fear at night. I feel when my heart skips. My heart seems to quiver and feels like Jell-O. I take my blood pressure and pulse several times to reassure myself before I allow my eyes to shut and my mind to go into dreamland.

Some say I’m too anxious and I agree up to a point. I know that my heart and my emotions start to play on one another. I try to relax and keep calm. It works up to a point.